I Wish I Knew How to Quit You
by Amorye
Summary: You just can't leave someone you love. Series of unrelated fics with the same theme. Slash, het, yaoi, yuri pairings.


**I Wish I Knew How to Quit You**

**SUMMARY: **When love and hate collide, it leads to an ultimate battle of a man versus himself, all for the sake of which emotion overpowers the other.

A/Ns: This was inspired by a line I've read many, many times over the Internet. Then while I was typing my fic, **Angel in Disguise**, I felt that I needed to write something about Chris and Rob.

Since what I needed was complete, I decided to type it up. Here, you will see its' outcome.

Be warned, this is **slash**. Do not read it if you don't like slash, or are very offended with such content.

**DISCLAIMER: **Vince McMahon owns the WWE. I own my created characters and places, the story/line, for this belongs in a place called imagination and was written/typed for entertainment purposes only. I will not be responsible for younger readers reading inappropriate content for their age, for it is clearly stated before the written piece what type of content this fiction contains. Copyright infringement is not intended at all.

* * *

Quitting was not one of the things I liked doing. 

Quitting was for losers.

I loved him more than words can ever express it. On the contrary, he hated me more than words could ever expressed it.

It shattered my heart to listen to those three words. The _other_ three words, "I hate you."

I cried my eyes out that evening, not bothering to eat or drink or sleep. The world disappeared before me, just hearing those three terrible words.

We were once romatically linked, and were the sweetest couple backstage. We had loved each other and committed themselves to each other.

Being a homosexual didn't matter to us. It was only our love that we cared about, and ignored all who disapproved of our orientation.

All was perfect, until Rob fell for someone else. I didn't try to stop him, I just tried to talk to him. But Rob took it the wrong way. He started disliking me, and it eventually evolved to pure hate. I still loved him, no matter what.

He'd push me around, yell at me, and other times physically hurt me. It didn't matter to me. I still loved him, no matter what he'd do.

Every once in a while, I'd remember what we've done before. And how we did everything together.

How he kissed me. How he romanced me every night. How he passionately expressed to me his love.

I'd remember how we kissed so well. Our tongues would meet and we'd explore each other like there was no tomorrow. Then we'd end up in the nude and fucking each other like we were teenagers doing it for the first time.

He'd make me cum so hard, I'd have to beg him to keep going on, to fuck me harder, no matter how much pain it was. I found it to be like heaven.

Other times, he and I would make out like crazy in the locker room, not even bothering if there were some other guys inside who stared at us. Besides, they were already used to our daily romancing.

Those were the best years in my whole life. We had been together for three years, and he broke up with me on our anniversary. That day was the worst in my life.

I could not seek any comfort from anyone or anything. My heart was shattered into millions of pieces, breaking into more.

What happened to all the trust? What happened to everything we had? What happened to our relationship? How could he fall for someone else when he and I had a wonderful relationship.

Here brings the quote, "If you love someone, you'll have to let them go."

How was that possible? Why would I want to let someone who I love disappear from my life?

I had been heartbroken thrice, and this was the worst one. Three times, I'm out, right? If this were baseball, I'm out of the game. And in life, I'm out of the dating game, as painful as it is.

My friends have tried comforting me, and I thank them for doing so. I appreciate all their efforts to lighten my burden, but everytime they tried, I'd break down and cry. I couldn't tell them what abuse Rob did to me, I was so upset.

Rob ignored me most of the time. The only time when he'd mind me is when he had nothing to do, and he would insult me, yell at me, and maybe smack me in the face. Yet again, I still didn't care. I wanted to be with him, no matter what the cost.

I was never seriously angry at Rob. I loved him too much that I'd forget about myself. Why couldn't I move on? What was my problem?

Rob sometimes went rough with me. He'd kiss me so harshly, and I had no choice but to give in. It was just wonderful to taste those lips again.

Whenever he and his lover would argue, he'd just burst into my room, and fuck the hell out of me. I could only take everything in. I'd scream a couple of times, but it was because of the pleasure he gave me, even if he hated me with a passion.

I knew he still loved me, even if he didn't show it. Otherwise, why would he have treated me that way? Maybe it was ninety percent hate, but he still had love, I could feel it. That ten percent.

He and Adam constantly fight, but then they get back together again. We never did that. We hardly fought, and if we did, we'd immediately get back together.

People thought I was a pussy, but what if they experienced what I was feeling? Who would be the pussy now? I had gone through the longest relationship in my life, and he broke up with me on our three-year anniversary! What's not to be upset about that?

As these thoughts are in my mind, I am right here, where we first met, the street where we first laid our eyes on each other. I'm looking at the high, high building there. I'm thinking, should I kill myself?

I think that I have lived my purpose on this earth. I think it's my time to go. I'm not needed here anymore.

So I climb the stairs, and remember scenes from my life, and all my happy times with the man I loved more than anyone else. Tears flow down, but I ignore them completely.

People passed me, and looked at me sympathetically. They obviously knew who I was and possibly knew why I was so upset.

Damn rumors. They spread faster than a blazing fire.

I arrived at the top, and walked to the edge of the building. I looked down and saw Rob a block away. I stepped back, and took out a piece of paper and a pen. I wrote a note, in case he'd find me.

I took in my final views of the city, and the world. I walked to the edge again, and threw myself off.

* * *

I was walking to a certain drugstore when I saw a man throw himself off the highest building. I gasped, and quickly made my way to the now fallen man. 

I was so shocked to see who it was. It was Chris, my ex-lover. He had killed himself, and I was sure it was because of me.

I took his bloody head into my arms, and kissed him. I didn't care who saw me. Just like before, I was careless when it came to loving him.

I noticed a piece of paper in his left hand. I took it, unfolded it, and read it.

_My dearest Rob,_

_ I see you have gotten your hands on this note. Please just read everything I have to say, because I need to tell all of this to you. _

_I have loved you ever since I'd met you. Thank you for being a part of my life, and thank you for sharing time with me. You were my life. Every morning, the you would be the first to enter my mind, and every evening you'd be the one to close my day. I think of you all the time._

_I was so hurt when you broke up with me. It was even our anniversary, baby, why would you do such a thing? And how could you do this to me?  
_

_You abused me, but I took it in, because I longed for your touch and for your kiss. I needed them so badly. I loved you more than you think I ever did._

_Rob, I never knew how to give up on you. I wanted to, because it caused me much pain. I wish I'd known how to quit you.  
_

_I love you._

_-Chris_

* * *

That was angstier(such a word?) than I'd originally thought. Hm. What do you think? 

Please review.


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